you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
