What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
