it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
