I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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