I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
