i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
