JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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