pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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