I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
