just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
