so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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