Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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