My cat gives me a boner
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dicks are not precious.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
