Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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