google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
