I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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