his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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