how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
