I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
