ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
