Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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