Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
