i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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