So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
