Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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