on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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