3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
