She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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