going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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