you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
