Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
