I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
