WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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