it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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