I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
