But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
