I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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