I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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