Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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