Jerry, you need to find god
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
