look no pants
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
