Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
