We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
