this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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