So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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