i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
