She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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