I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
