New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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