i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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