She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize