Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
