OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
