Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This baby is an asshole
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
