remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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