why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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