nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
