Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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