I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
