Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
