it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
