We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
