Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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