Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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