she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
