Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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