Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
